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Jun. 29th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 00:16 So it's been 3 days. I went to the cave. Stone was still in front. I guess I need to accept that Michael Jackson won't rise from the grave. #
  • 07:08 Seems like Twitter has quickly become little more than a web-based celebrity obituary delivery system. Dead 2.0, as it were. #
  • 08:10 @tchatchke: That's the bridge with the trolls, right? #
  • 15:21 We all know the moon is not made of green cheese. But what if it were made of barbecue spare ribs; whouldja eat it then? I know I would. #
  • 17:36 I think what surprises me most about Billy Mays being on Twitter is that his tweets weren't in all caps. #
  • 20:42 Perhaps the autopsy will reveal what the hell all the damn yelling was for. #billymays #

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Jun. 28th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.


  • 02:06 I wish there WAS supernatural. Then I'd get my biggest wish right now: a chance to talk to Pat about the events of the last year and a half. #

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Jun. 27th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.


  • 09:08 I never get people who tuck their t-shirts into their jeans. If you want to be so damn formal, WEAR REGULAR PANTS. You self-important tool. #

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Jun. 26th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 00:54 Babe Ruth. Hell's yes. #
  • 02:21 "A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives." --Jackie Robinson #
  • 08:14 Weird. Michael Jackson's death actually bothers me. #
  • 09:40 Somewhere in a dark place in Hollywood, Corey Feldman is crying his eyes out. #
  • 17:54 Family isn't who you're born with or shares your blood. It's who you choose and who chooses you in kind. #
  • 22:39 "The game of ball is glorious." --Walt Whitman #

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Jun. 24th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 07:20 Listen. (Doo-da-doo.) Do you want to know a secret? (Doo-da-doo.) do you promise not to tell? Whoa-oh-oh. (The bodies are in the basement.) #
  • 09:24 Find My iPhone works! happywaffle.livejournal.com/5890.html #
  • 20:53 Teens are for pretending to be grown up; 20s are for pretending to be grown up while acting childish; 30s are for acting childish. Right? #

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Jun. 23rd, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 14:09 I should go back to being the anachronistic nerd/hipster who wears fedoras and vests with t-shirts. I should also be 100 lbs lighter. Hrmph. #
  • 23:03 "Be on time. Bust your butt. Play smart. And have some laughs along the way." --Whitey Herzog #

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Jun. 22nd, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.


  • 22:29 More like insomniawesome, amirite?! #

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Jun. 21st, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.


  • 10:08 It's Father's Day. But please don't buy me a lawn mower or a ratchet set or whatever normal fathers get. I need 3 sets of guitar strings. #

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Jun. 20th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 01:31 I own both 2500-pg baseball & 2000-pg college football encyclopediae, but carry a WiFi-ready device @ all times. I just don't get it, do I? #
  • 08:40 Hey, 50-year-old woman with the leathery skin and the halter top: your stupidity is showing. #

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Jun. 19th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 07:00 @tchatchke : Good one! I'd nearly forgotten that one. I should collect these all. Maybe write a book. #
  • 07:08 @mathowie: That was my flight from Memphis to San Antonio for Basic Training, 1993. Thank you, Southwest Airlines! #
  • 07:09 Mark & I are planning to visit all the MLB parks and the Field of Dreams next year. We'll catch fouls and weep constantly at the poignancy. #

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Jun. 18th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 06:58 Dad's been a software developer; mom's a medical professional. Can you imagine ensuing hijinks from a misunderstanding of "coding"? LOL #
  • 18:41 Anyone else notice that the logo for the Kia Optima *isn't* in the Optima font? OK, then is anyone *else* annoyed by that fact? Just me? Hm. #
  • 22:59 'Tolerance' in the South is code for "We'll give you a five-minute head start." Just like "Bless her heart" is code for "What a retard!" #

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Jun. 17th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 06:48 Lost and Jealous, California. Shit Cargo, Illinois. Feel the Death o' Ya, Pennsylvania. Whose Done, Texas. NEW YORK, NEW YORK. #shitstirrer #
  • 11:05 All you advocates of Intelligent Design owe me detailed explanations for arthritis, gout, and my brand-new horribly painful wisdom tooth. #
  • 18:41 Why would you purchase a $45,000 Lexus and REQUEST A SPOILER? You moronic dildo. #
  • 22:47 @CBaranski The update is worth it. #
  • 22:48 2-egg breakfast, scrambled, with toast and hash browns, scattered & smothered. $4! If you don't know Waffle House, then you're missing out. #

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Jun. 16th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 07:06 I have a professor's brain, a lion's heart, an elephant's penis, and an athlete's body. I also have a large closet in which I store them. #
  • 14:47 I ordered a side of toast with my rashers of bacon as a small lunch. And I gave the waitress a $2.15 tip on a $2.85 bill. Why? I'M A GIVER. #
  • 18:03 Singing loudly by yourself in the car is only cool when you're digging on classic rock or hip-hop tracks. Or TMBG. That's a scientific fact! #

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Jun. 15th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 09:46 It's "inTEgration", not "inTERgration." Fools. #
  • 22:56 "Ninety feet between bases is perhaps as close as man has ever gotten to perfection." --Red Smith #

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Jun. 14th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 10:19 What suffers more in my absence: trivia night at the pub, or the weekly D&D? What's that you say? We're losers regardless? Touché, Internet. #
  • 20:48 The MLB Network's presentation of Ken Burns's "Baseball" would be so much better if commercial breaks weren't between every goddamn at-bat. #

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Jun. 13th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 00:13 I hate the Penguins. Not just the hockey ones. All those smug bastards. In their out-of-context formal wear. Except Opus. He's all right. #
  • 18:14 Someone beat me to my usual username on Facebook. AND NONE OF YOU SAID A WORD. Some friends you are. *grumble* #

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Jun. 12th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 06:58 Note: my RTs and OHs aren't really LOL or even ROFLMFAO. OK? #
  • 17:26 The number one cause of death is birth. 100% fatality, yo! #

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Jun. 11th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 07:02 Ambien makes me woozy, drowsy, hallucinate-y, forgetful, and sentimental. I'm 1, 5, 23, 75, and 92 years old all at once! #
  • 15:29 For it's one! two! three! four! five! six! seven! eight! nine! strikes, you're out at the old... ball... game! #disappointedyankeesfan #
  • 22:55 I hate much about the South but love soul food & country rock guitar. Tell ya what: I'll marry a Floridian, move back to NJ, & call it even. #

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Jun. 10th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 11:51 @tchatchke: I feel for you guys. You embrace the heck out of that pup. #
  • 12:05 "You cannot reason someone out from a belief they did not reason themselves into." —Skorgu. Not sure I believe that. #
  • 12:08 "Pregnant Women Are Smug" by Garfunkel & Oates: bit.ly/16M6V6 #
  • 15:28 I miss FireJoeMorgan.com. "STATS ARE A MEASURE OF PERFORMANCE.
    STATS ARE A MEASURE OF PERFORMANCE. STATS ARE A MEASURE OF PERFORMANCE." #
  • 21:59 People who hate the iPhone as a concept also saw Star Trek and scoffed at a unified human race. YES, THEY ARE EQUIVALENT! I WANT BOTH NOW. #

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Jun. 9th, 2009

Grubi Tweets Today.

  • 08:33 Pregnancy is not an accomplishment. #
  • 11:43 @tchatchke: That and the fact that simply being pregnant is not an accomplishment. But I've seen many women treat is as if it were. Annoying #
  • 12:26 @tchatchke: I don't question the difficulty. But to treat the state of pregnancy as an accompl. or the process as mere accompl. seems wrong. #
  • 12:28 @tchatchke: My complaint is about those who seem to lack a proper sense of perspective. Pregnancy's just an example. #
  • 14:07 @tchatchke: And yet, there are people who act like that. And those who think the mere state of pregnancy means they are *doing* something... #
  • 14:32 @ThatKevinSmith: I watched some of the other videos, too. You must have been bursting with excitement after Wally's gifts, eh? #
  • 15:10 @hodgman: Vest? I approve. I hope you help revive the popularity of the vest. #
  • 15:40 @tchatchke: Again, I don't doubt it. But is that an accomplishment? #
  • 15:48 I hate you, Milkman Dan. #

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